Hello how are you?
Better before

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Nice to meet you handsome.
Oh yeah? I just got out jail for murder

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Walking in Penn Station I bumped into a military/army person
He said: “Can’t you see where going?”
How can I see you? You always guys wear mimetics!

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The kids are asking: “Dear Santa, no more crappy toys, we want real guns to defend from all adults”.

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Thanks god I am alive!
Thanks devil they died.